Look at this foppish dandy

Better Know a Fop: Evander Berry Wall was popularly credited with the possession of over 500 trousers and 5,000 neck ties and was named King of the Dudes by the New York American newspaper after winning two battles of foppishness. He claimed his first victory when, during the blizzard of 1888, he strode into a bar clad in gleaming boots of patent leather that went to his hips. His second, and even more impressive, victory was earned for having changed clothes 40 times between breakfast and dinner, appearing on the race track “in one flashy ensemble after the other until, exhausted but victorious he at last entered the ballroom of the United States Hotel in faultless evening attire”

Read more about Evander Berry Wall, King of the Dudes.

Benningsworth! You knew I was planning to dress as a mid-calf boot for this evening’s masquerade! You knew it! Why then, do you insist on making a fool of us both?

“Why no matter, Jeeves. This is not the first time I’ve heard theorized that, similar to that of the fantastical Basilisk, my gaze strikes cold the pulse of lower men. I can indubitably vouchsafe your security.”

Submitted by Lizzi McShane

“The truth is, Chester, I only equip my farmhands with hay-baling tools with the most favorable reviews from Pitchfork pamphlet.”

Submitted by Conor McKeon

“I dare say, Hugo, the length of your mutton chops is surely divine!”

Submitted by Hannah

Just a little more pomade, and… there! Hair curled to the utmost precision!

Mother! Mother, come see what I did!

“You will never know how heavy on these shoulders lies the burden of being extraordinary.”

*Coquettish titter.*

“Gentlemen, our new aerodynamic fashions ensure that today’s modern dandy may maintain a minimum of drag coefficient, even during one of Lord Boyle’s tiresome summer soirees.”